Photo by Bence Boros
When I was younger, I HATED my sensitivity.
I was SO angry that everything had the power to affect me. I felt pushed around and constantly poked by every stimulus around me.
At the time I didn’t understand, I didn’t know what was going on.
To me it was like a constant undefined white noise of emotions and sensations that I had to wade through all the time.
It’s hard to describe the constant overstimulation. Like a full-body constant noise that comes at you from all around but ALSO somehow from inside you.
I remember living in a mass of emotions that were present all the time, filling me up so much that everything I did and saw and heard was received through this filter of noisy emotion.
I was so often angry because of it.
I thought it was just my childhood stuff that I was processing, or the fact that I felt lost and was trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged. Because that was true.
But it wasn’t just that.
When I think of my young self dealing with this and not understanding what it was, I feel so much love for me. I was so brave.
I knew I was sensitive and I saw it as a Very Bad Thing.
To me it meant I felt too much, responded too strongly, was too affected by horrible news, couldn’t watch scary or violent movies, took things too seriously…
Then one day in my early twenties, I went to see a healer and she said something that started to change my relationship with my sensitivity.
What she said was,
“Your sensitivity is like a keyboard. You have to learn how to play it.”
(Insert confused head scratch here)
It opened a crack of hope and clarity in the mass of confusion.
Now, YEARS later, my sensitivity is something I am SO grateful for.
I wouldn’t want to live life without it.
WHAT an incredible gift I have.
It’s a superpower. Truly.
What have I learned?
What felt like a mass of noise was in fact an unconducted orchestra.
It was lots of instruments being played all at once with no rhyme or reason.
If you don’t know how to listen for each instrument individually and guide it to play its sweetest, in harmony with all the others, then it just sounds like a terrible onslaught of noise.
So the trick to not feeling assaulted by your senses all the time is to learn what exactly you are sensing and what emotions you are perceiving – and whose emotions they are, yours or someone else’s – and how you can conduct them in a more harmonious way.
Once you start doing that, the Universe begins to reveal its secrets to you.
It’s like seeing the coding of The Matrix.
You understand what’s going on within and around you in exquisite detail and you can use that understanding to weave a life that feels good.
It’s what I use in my work to help others gain clarity and own their power.
It’s what I use to make good decisions that feel RIGHT to me and have lovely outcomes.
It’s what I use to have warm, loving, healthy, balanced relationships with my family and friends.
It’s what I use to love myself better.
It’s my greatest strength in navigating this complex thing we call Life on Earth.
I LOVE my sensitivity now. I rely on it. I use it. I appreciate it. I explore it. I lean into it. I deliberately open it more and more as I realise the gift it actually is.
My younger self would think I was completely NUTS to do this.
But this me, I know.
My sensitivity is my superpower.
So is yours.
I’d love to hear your experiences and what this idea raises for you.
Tell me in the comments. I always read them.