Isn’t it just astounding how sometimes something ‘small’, like your partner’s comment or your child’s behaviour or having a deadline at work, can unleash a torrent of emotions and thoughts and confusions such as would flatten a small village?
You know that moment when your child or partner or boss does something and suddenly, or – if you’re a slow processer – afterwards, you FEEL a whole lot of stuff. Sad or angry or scared or confused or, when it’s a really good stir, all of the above.
And in the moment you don’t even really know why you feel all that stuff but you just do. And your stomach twists in a knot and your chest buzzes and you feel hot or you feel cold and you want to roar or hide under the bed or run in manic circles, or or… something.
If you manage a rational thought amidst the storms of snot and adrenalin, sweat and tears, you might think, “What is going on? I’m SO (insert intense feeling here). It’s not such a big deal, it’s only a little disagreement / exposure / challenge. I can handle it.” But there’s another part of you shouting out, “No I can’t! I really can’t handle this. Make it stop. Make them go away. I can’t bear it!” And you are about three or five or seven years old again. “Mommmmeeeeeeeee!”
Ok now you think I’ve really cracked. You’re an adult, not three or five or seven. Right?
Oh honey, I’m sorry to say this but no, it’s not right. You are having such big feelings because in that moment there is something going on that is bringing you back to a feeling or experience you had when you were biologically that age. And it’s apparently something that you haven’t figured out yet so you are carrying it around inside you until you do figure it out. Which could be now – if you play your cards right.
The big reaction often has a teeny, little trigger. Lately I’ve visited Storm Land a few times and from the outside it pretty much looks like there’s nothing much to write home about. But internally wooohooooo! And not in a good way either – but then again, also in a really good way.
Why am I contradicting myself and sounding mad again? Well, because I firmly believe that if it’s stirring you up, it’s building you up.
So in the midst of the storm ask yourself, “How old do I feel right now?” and then when you intuitively get your answer, let yourself think about what was happening for you at that age and how it was similar to what just happened to you now.
Am I making any sense here?