Is There Ever Really A Right Or Wrong Way To Do A Thing?

By Eilat Aviram

Is there ever really a right and a wrong way to do a thing? I mean, at the end of the day, doesn’t it just land up being about consequences to our actions? If I choose to do this then that will happen but if I choose the other thing something else will follow. And I will learn something either way.

Yesterday I found myself in a new level of something I’ve been learning. So I was excited… for about ten seconds! Then I witnessed myself automatically switching to

‘Official Learning Mode’, which is a close relative of ‘Not Good Enough’ and believe me, does not include fun in any shape or form – unless Serious Learning is your fun, of course. Tamed hair, wire-rimmed spectacles and serious, studious expressions are all the rage in Serious Learning Land.


I had never realised how goal-focused I was until last night, when I witnessed myself dismiss excitedness and head off into the This-Is-How-Things-Should-Be elevator. What?! Me? Really?

And I do find it so ironic because here I am, Queen of Processing (therapist and all) and I want to skip that part and head straight to getting results. “That there’s where I’m supposed to be, so I’d better git!”

And it is said. “We teach best what we need to learn”.

So I’m teaching and learning. Can a teacher be bouncy and excited I wonder…  but I digress.

Ok class, let’s go through this slowly – for those teachers of us who are struggling with this concept.

There is never any real end goal. ‘Cos we all know that once you get wherever you think ‘there’ is, you will just see another road ahead. Right? So where am I rushing off to? All this rush, rush, rush to learn and grow (which as a Tigger I know can be FUN), to ‘get there’ while forgetting about the sights and fun to be had along the way? Not good for Tiggers. My children will never care if I get ‘there’. They will only care if I have been present and happy and able to have fun with them on the way.

So settle into the processing and be present my dear. ‘Here ‘ is where life is happening. ‘Here ‘ is where there’s fun to be had – with the learning and with the children.

It doesn’t matter WHAT I choose to do or how fast I get there. It really doesn’t – and part of me knows this. (I like that part…).  What really matters is HOW I do what I do. That’s what’s going to make up the quality of my life. That’s what guides how I experience my life. It decides the quality of who I am in this world and how my children, my partner, my clients experience me. What can be more important?

Step aside Serious Me, I want to play while I learn.


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Eilat Aviram is a Daring-Decisions Teacher.

She's worked with people for 25 years as a clinical psychologist, hypnotherapist, best-selling author, speaker and energy-healing teacher and she is passionate about helping people dare to love themselves in their moments of decision and find the courage to live their truth.

Eilat Aviram