Monthly Not Weekly

By Eilat Aviram

Precious readers, I am working on a writing project at the moment which  I look forward to telling you about but for now, writing the blog weekly is taking writing time that I need for that. So I will be posting once a month instead of weekly for the next little while and hopefully I will soon have a completed project under my belt. For now here is a reminder in the form of a longer than usual post to tide you over.

You can also pop by the blog every Monday (or anytime) and read some previous posts. There are a lots to choose from. Browse away.

Warmest wishes



A while ago I woke up grumpy and looked in the mirror and said, “I do not like waking up to being in service first thing in the morning.” Right from the get-go as I wake up I need to cater, referee, feed, clothe, brush, chase, cajole without regard for what I might prefer to be doing right now.

This reluctance is familiar to many of us – at work, or in our family, or with ourselves. “Oh I don’t FEEL like doing this. Why do I have to do all this stuff? Where is the freedom of which I dream…”  If you whine about it though, most people will tell you to just grow up and get on with it; life’s hard and all that. And yet I have never really accepted that “Life is hard” crap we get fed if we question why there is so much suffering in the world. I have always flinched when I hear the sects of religions that begin with, “You are a sinner and you must suffer for your sins”. I just don’t believe that we are inherently bad in any way. I may be an idiot but I really believe in people. Seeing as I find myself regularly surrounded by humans, this belief makes me, more or less, a happy idiot. I think humans are a quirky species and their spirits are jaw-droppingly, magnificently, miraculously amazing and beautiful. I am astounded and awed daily by the human spirit.

So that morning I said to my grumpy self in the mirror, “I am more light than the other stuff” and it made me feel better. I was nicer to my children after that too – being a being of light ‘n all.

I deeply believe each of us is originally from light and love. I think that’s what we are inside – ALL of us, sinners and saints – regardless of religion or belief. Think of a young baby. He or she is amazed by everything, “Oh look! A toe. How wonderful. What happens if I suck it? Oh a face. Let me gaze at it in wonder.” Think of the way a secure baby looks at faces that pop up, that amazed gummy smile and wide open eyes, loving it all, drinking it all in. We were all like that to start with. That is our essential nature. Open, loving, curious, excited, joyous, light – that is who we are in essence. Then it gets trained out of us, suppressed, made fun of. “Oh you’re so naïve. Don’t be so idealistic. That’s silly. Be realistic.” Yet we humans thrive on love, connection and belonging. Without it we shrivel and warp. If we are damaged, what heals us is love, connection and belonging. We are awed and inspired when we see someone who is able to remain connected to love and belief in the face of hardship.

So, we aspire to and feel good about those qualities of what I like to call light – our best and highest self. Therefore, in my opinion, we are essentially beings of love and light. All the other stuff is just learned behaviour. I really think that there is nothing wrong with any of us. Even nasty humans have love and light buried deep inside them. Most of us have a lot to learn, things to do differently, ways we can do and be better, obstacles to overcome –some more than others – but there is nothing actually wrong with any of us. Yes, even the nasties.

I have seen some hard-to-believe stuff happen when plain old humans begin to see themselves as precious beings of light, love and wisdom. I wish more of us could see the beauty of ourselves more often and I believe that with the help of our children we can because they show us the best and the worst in ourselves while still loving us the WHOLE time. They show us how to remember our light selves.

Now listen, I am as riddled with issues and insecurities as the next person. I really am – just ask my family, they’ll tell you – but I don’t think my insecurities make me who I am. Quite the opposite, I think they distract from who I am. Or add to who I am 🙂

There are a good number of great writers and thinkers who teach us that our task here as humans is to remember who we are, to remember our connection with the Something-Bigger-Than-Us. Our job here is to remember that we are in fact one with that ‘something greater’ and therefore one with each other too. Quantum physics – the half a percent I know about it – seems to affirm that we live in a ‘quantum soup’. Scientists nowadays can even measure and take photos of the energy that surrounds all living things and interconnects us to each other and to all things around us. That ‘we-are-one’ thing seems to be scientifically verifiable.

I have learned, practiced and taught energy healing for years and to me it seems obvious that Life energy is everywhere. We use is, we radiate it and we walk around near lots of other beings and things that radiate it and use it – so we will obviously affect each other energetically. You know that feeling when you are standing next to someone who is very anxious or angry? You can feel it. That’s because they are radiating energy strongly and you can feel it in your own energy system.

Ok so if we are supposed to remember who we are – that we are in fact aspects of a greater energy than ourselves, a loving radiant light energy – then why does life feel so hard sometimes? Why don’t we walk around feeling magnificent and confident? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

It is because of the forgetting.

The journey of this earth seems to be that we come here, forget who we truly are and then our task is to remember again. Each time you come back into the knowledge of something it becomes easier and easier and the knowledge becomes more and more familiar. It’s like climbing up a beautiful mountain. There are so many paths to the tops and so many weather conditions and physical conditions that until you have climbed all the paths in all conditions you cannot say you truly know the mountain. Each time the challenges and joys are different but each time it offers you the opportunity to be excited, interested and joyful to be climbing this magnificent mountain and getting to know it and master the experience fully.

How is this relevant here? Well, we tend to forget or ignore or disbelieve that we are beings of love and light. So much goes on in our lives and our world that doesn’t feel light or loving at all. But we can only appreciate the qualities of light if we have something to compare it to right? Only shadow and dark can show us where the light is – without it we wouldn’t even know we were in light. In fact, some light can only be seen if there is dark – like moonlight for example. So dark is necessary for the full richness of light to be experienced. The contrast between what feels like light and what feels dark is what shows us where we are – specifically where we are in relation to where we want to be – and knowledge is power.

The challenges that life offers us are the contrast to love and light. When the hard stuff hits us we do not easily feel full of love and light, right? But here is where the idea of the gift of contrast comes in. The point of any ‘negative’ feelings and thoughts is to remind you of who you truly are. Anytime we are stirred or uncomfortable we are being shown that we are straying from our natural path of love light – our soul path if you will – the path that brings us to health and wholeness. When you feel really horrid you have to know you have forgotten for that moment how to be in that place in yourself that heals and soothes you. You have forgotten your essential nature of love and light. You have forgotten you are ok.

The challenges our children offer us for example – all the times we lose it, shout, get depressed, resentful, misbehave – are alarms telling us we are out of alignment with our true nature. We have forgotten to love ourselves. Somehow we are not listening to, or following, our intuition, our truth. Following our truth FEELS GOOD. It brings us freedom and joy (which is contagious by the way, like anxiety). Feeling good guides us on our life purpose – whatever that means for each of us. It heals us and those around us because it is based in love and light.

Each time you feel anything less than good, look around for where you are not listening to yourself – then listen and watch your life improve. Our true essence is feeling wonderful – at peace, loving, excited, pulsing with life energy. You can see that in the people on earth who are living ‘enlightened’ lives (in other words they remember who they are most of the time even though they are human). The Dalai Llama, Desmond Tutu, happy chuckling bhudda-like folk. The more you remember, the happier life becomes – regardless of how crap the outside circumstances look.

So remember, if you feel crap you are off course. You’ve forgotten how magnificent you are. Ask yourself, “If I love myself what do I choose now?”


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Eilat Aviram is a Daring-Decisions Teacher.

She's worked with people for 25 years as a clinical psychologist, hypnotherapist, best-selling author, speaker and energy-healing teacher and she is passionate about helping people dare to love themselves in their moments of decision and find the courage to live their truth.

Eilat Aviram