I had a dream about my Facebook page last night.
Really? That’s what I’m dreaming about? Don’t I have better things to use my unconscious time for?
Apparently not.
Apparently there’s something about my FB page that is hitting a nerve for me. So here it is – my strong reaction to something. And of course by now I know that to follow the clues offered by my strong reactions means to find my liberation.
I dreamed my Facebook page “So You Think Parenting is About The Children?” had been wiped clean and I had to start writing all over again. In the dream I felt deeply weary at the thought of having to do that.
When I woke from the dream I wondered, ‘Why is it such a wearying thought?”
Yesterday someone asked me about this project, “What if you stopped it all now?” she wanted to know. I tried to picture it. I was curious about whether it would feel like relief or not.
My immediate internal response to her question was that this blog is unstoppable. It’s mine, I love it. I do it for me. It has taught me so much and especially since I started the illustrations (my sister calls them ‘illuminations’ – bless her) it’s been lots of fun. I suppose that was when I really took ownership of it.
So the blog is unstoppable, but what about the talks and workshops I asked myself? Well, that’s still new and I suspect I’m going to love it. It feels unexplored so I don’t want to stop that now. Ok good, moving on.
The Facebook page… ah now that felt different. That would be a relief to stop. But that’s such a surprise. At the start the FB page was the MOST fun of all for me – now this dream and this feeling…
I know what it is.
Yesterday my answer came immediately when she asked me – but I didn’t like it and I tried to ignore it – so I had a dream about it.
Helloooo? Why aren’t you listening?
Because the answer demands something scary of me.
This is what I knew straight away; Right now, I’m doing the FB page for other people.
That’s what the problem is. Those darn stats show me what people seem to like and I’m finding myself trying to do that. Trying to target what in marketing they call the ‘sweet spot’. Doing what I’m ‘supposed’ to do to ‘get numbers’. Ugh.
I need to go back to doing it for me – the way I did at the start. My dream was redirecting me back to what I know.
So like everything else in my life, very much including parenting, I need to listen closely to what is true for me and honour that – rather than following how others say it ‘should’ be done. Hell, it’s my life. If I don’t live in it, it’s just empty space.
So ok, I agree to my subconscious’ suggestion to ‘start again’. I know it’s my truth. From here on my intention is to focus on what feels right for me on the FB page. It was the ‘platform building’ thing that hooked into some of my stuff and scared me into doing it for others instead of for me.
But I really must say that this feels scary to do because it feels even more exposing.
I guess that means it must be true.
Sigh.
Going to take that step forward and see…
🙂 Do it for yourself, and others will love it too!
Thanks for the cheer! I love it. You know though, the thing is that sometimes people won’t actually love it – and I just have to be fine with that too.
Ha ha, tell me more about your dreams…?
Albert Jack what do I even respond to that comment in a public forum such as this?! I’m only letting your lascivious remark remain because I know you’re a dog with a golden heart. Hope I don’t ruin your cynical image with that comment.
As for my dreams, they tell me my truth. Dare I ask what your truth is? And are you following it?
Whiskey and words may not be much of a truth but they are my reality. And they follow me everywhere I go…
I’m not quite sure whether to laugh or cry…
But hey, the thing is that if we are determined to live our truth, it means we give others the same respect, doesn’t it. Can’t really judge another’s truth – even if it’s whiskey and words… At least your words are good – not so sure about your whiskey.
I love your drawing Eilat!
Facebook is something to be explored. The effect on our subconscious and the connection of it to our communal subconscious. I have made lots of facebook “friends” but avoid communicating with them, posting pictures, exposing myself. The only pictures on my facebook page have been posted by my siblings – the most unflattering photos of me I must say! And yet I like the kitchen sink way in which they have depicted me on facebook. Almost to say “up yours” to be liked by my “friends” . I think it is really really hard to do facebook for myself. Keep me posted on your challenge, Eilat, I would be interested to hear more!
Hey Eilat – have you lost your marbles?! What do you think will happen if everyone ‘just randomly’ starts “liking” and living in their own “sweet spots”?! And setting the example that this is good and important – no actually fun and joyful to do?!Then everyone starts considering that authentic living is the ‘way to go’! and people start living life On Purpose and actually be seen. Horrors. Letting our uniqueness and beauty show – revealing ourselves in all our flaws and perfections. What if others dont like it or – well how do you know for sure that there’ll be at least one person that will still love us if they truly see us? Ok, at least you are volunteering to go first, phew, I think I need a brown paper bag to breathe into now.
Ok maybe I have lost my marbles but breeeeeathe into that bag…
Oh you made me laugh out loud and I’m still smiling!
I love how you write that, “living in our sweet spots”. Wouldn’t that lead to a sweet life? The world as you paint it (before the paper bag) sounds AMAZING! Just imagine if your own parents had done that? How would it have changed your childhood?
So what do you want to do?
Ok, maybe you actually just donated your marbles. Big winks. Love your posts!
Thanks Eva. What are marbles for if not to play with them and share? Here, have a marble…
There you go again – playing, sharing and building community around those scary life steps! You’re such a sweet spotter.