Dialogue Between My Masculines

By Eilat Aviram


The young man who was the ringleader of the gang which had been causing all the trouble in the community was summoned to sit at the fire with the elder and the warrior.

It was already dark and the elder took some time to fill his long pipe. The other two waited for him to begin speaking. They sat in the golden glow of the fire in a lengthening silence, the younger man growing increasingly restless and irritated as it stretched on. The warrior sat strong and powerful. He deferred to the elder and threw occasional glances of angry disdain at the younger man’s callous impatience.

The elder, fully engaged with his task, seemed oblivious to the growing tension – yet he was not. He was choosing his time. When he finally spoke his tone was soft and gentle.  Turning to the young man he asked, “What is it you need?”

The young man, who had perfected his mask of arrogant nonchalance, sneered at this question, “Need? My boys and I don’t need anything! We do what we want. We are powerful. If we need something, we take it.”

The warrior moved restlessly, clearly wanting to meet this challenge. The elder made no show of recognising this. The warrior sat still.

“But what of feelings?”

Now the young man really laughed, “Feelings? They only cause trouble! I tried those in my early days and learned fast – they only hurt. They make you weak. They trip you up. I have no need for those.”

The warrior couldn’t hold back any more, “You are scared of a little pain so you cut yourself off from your feelings? You are afraid they will trip you up? How can you call that power? Having the skill and stamina to feel and listen to your feelings is the real strength? A real man honours and respects his feelings as highest guidance. That is true power. If you weren’t so afraid of your feelings you might find true happiness and peace. You wouldn’t have to live in emptiness and fear the way you do now.”

Seeing that something about what he said had affected the young man in some way he took a breath to continue but then saw the elder give an almost imperceptible shake of his head. It took all his years of training to remain silent.

The elder lit his pipe and passed it around between them.

It was enough. The awakening had begun.



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  1. Stuart Hoy says:

    Thank-you. Your Monday message is always relevant. My eldest is struggling with school in a new country. The Warrior in me is struggling to keep quiet. The awakening has begun.

    1. Eilat Aviram says:

      Stu there are school systems that allow for feelings and there are those that dismiss them in favour of ‘success’ and ‘fitting in’ and ‘the right thing to do’. I wish for you that your awakening includes making sure this particular school allows for your son’s feelings as they are his highest guidance – and yours… As he struggles, I wish you the strength to sit in stillness so that you can see and hear clearly what is needed by all of you and that you love all the parts of you and of your son that join the conversation at the fire – as you both make this transition I also wish you the courage to do exactly what he and you truly need – not what is considered ‘right’ by anyone else. And may you enjoy this journey. Whatever this brings you is a blessing for you all.

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Eilat Aviram is a Daring-Decisions Teacher.

She's worked with people for 25 years as a clinical psychologist, hypnotherapist, best-selling author, speaker and energy-healing teacher and she is passionate about helping people dare to love themselves in their moments of decision and find the courage to live their truth.

Eilat Aviram