Here is an excerpt from my book So You Think Parenting is About the Children?
” There is a game called Curling where one player throws a heavy polished granite stone along the ice towards a goal and two others skate alongside the moving stone. The Wikepedia, or as my colleague calls it, ‘Ask-Your-Auntie’, has this to say, “…The path of the rock may be further influenced by two sweepers with brooms who accompany it as it slides down the sheet, using the brooms to alter the state of the ice in front of the stone. A great deal of strategy and teamwork goes into choosing the ideal path and placement for each situation, and the skills of the curlers determine how close to the desired result the stone will achieve”. I feel my job as a parent is that of a sweeper. The universe consented to release these beings through me. I need to travel alongside them as best I can and smooth or guide their paths as much as possible so that they can go as far as they are able in their lives, as close as possible to the goal of their becoming the best possible version of themselves.
Their path is their own. Yes, even if you don’t like that idea, it’s the truth. We all know that no matter how much pressure and guidance and effort parents put in, a child will eventually make their own choices whether the parent likes it or not. You can’t protect them from their choices or life traumas. So in reality I have little or no say on where my child’s life path goes or how it looks. Just like my parents – despite their attempts to influence it – had no real say over mine. In my opinion, the way to best clear children’s path and help them along is through self-awareness on the part of the parent. If I take responsibility for my own anxieties, insecurities, fears and dreams as much as possible, my children won’t be slowed, misdirected by, or saddled with them. They are free to become who they are meant to be. And then so am I. “