Do you also sometimes get impatient with yourself when you try to make important changes?
You know that moment, you KNOW something needs to change but even though you try to make it happen and you push and get frustrated it feels like it’s not moving – or not fast enough?
Well I thought I’d write this because today I remembered what I’ve learned in my years of helping people change. Patience always gets faster results. I thought it might help someone or another to hear about why patience works better – so it’s in the article below.
Meanwhile, I’m going to be kind and patient with myself as I make these important changes.
Did You Know That Patience Is More efficient?
I watch people change. That’s the gift of this work I do.
Sometimes people ask me, “How do you sit and listen to people’s problems all day? Doesn’t it exhaust you and bring you down?”
I tell them, “You don’t understand. I’m really lucky. I get to sit and listen to people’s HOPE all day long. They come to me because they have hope that things can change.”
Right? I mean, by the time you go to a therapist or join a group to learn practical ways to love yourself and find your unique Truth, you are feeling quite desperate to change. But you join precisely because you hope that change IS possible.
When people tell their story, I hear their hope shining through. “This is what I’d like to change. Can you help me do that?”
And of course my answer is yes, because if they believe it can be different, then it’s true.
But what I also notice (in myself as well as others) is that we are extremely impatient about how exactly things should change and how soon. When we are impatient, we create resistance because we aren’t giving credit to what is already changing, we are only focusing on what we believe hasn’t happened yet. And we trip ourselves up like this. We wail, we gnash our teeth, we stress, we complain, we feel hopeless and despondent… it’s a full time job. Who’s got time to also change when you’ve got all that going on? Impatience slows the desired change down enormously. Also, it’s really not self-loving
What works better?
Ask yourself, “If I loved myself, how would I choose to do this now?”
Say encouraging things to yourself about the efforts you are making to change the thing you wish was different.
Love and accept yourself right now, even before it changes.
Remind yourself that change which happens slowly is more lasting.
Be patient, be patient, be patient. With yourself, your body, with those around you. We are all doing our best – even if our best sucks. Everyone is trying.
Some people think that this approach is a loser approach. That it means you are compromising and accepting a situation that is unacceptable. But I can tell you from over twenty years of working with people who want to change, the most efficient, productive, powerful thing you can do to effect the changes you want is to be kind and patient with yourself and life as you take the actions you need to take.
Try it and see.
And let me know in the comments or private email how that goes for you.
I’m wishing you love.