If I’m not true to myself then whose life am I living? If I don’t do what I find important and interesting then what am I expressing into the world? If I learn to parent by listening to all the books and social opinions, then how do I know what to follow when nothing makes sense?
I’ve started a new project recently and I keep feeling overwhelmed and lost and confused in it – which makes me feel anxious. I’m vibrating in a way that makes it easy to tip over into panic and I think I’ve finally figured out why.
My usual modus operandus in life, and the one I help guide others to in therapy, is to tune into my center, my inner truth, to know what to do next. We all have an inner radio station that broadcasts 24/7. It’s a funny, informative and challenging station that constantly tells each of us everything we need to know about ourselves and our life. You have a life question of any kind? Tune in to Radio Self, FM 101.Truth on your dial.
Most of us are either not taught that this is a legitimate source of information that we can use or we are expressly forbidden from tuning into it. Why? Because at times it’s anarchical. (I just checked the thesaurus on that word and it shows, “revolutionary, radical, rebellious, lawless, disordered, riotous… See why we’d be discouraged from listening to it?) But you must tune in if you want to live YOUR life and not somebody else’s.
Isn’t it true that we almost always KNOW what our truth is but we dare not listen to it, not really, because to listen to it might demand making changes in our life. Revolutionary, radical, rebellious… Who wants to give up the safe and familiar and risk society’s disapproval?
We all know our truth. The channel keeps broadcasting in the background – even if it’s ignored for a lifetime. We express it in wishful thinking. “I wish I could leave my job and follow my dream but I need to make money”, or “I wish I could spend more time with my kids but that’s life”. Which means, in these examples, that you know your truth is a) you are not in the vocation you need to be in and b) that you need to spend more time with your children. Maybe you won’t like me for saying this, but whatever we say about why we’re not doing what our truth prescribes, is actually an excuse.
So in my new project when I’ve tuned into my truth it feels clear and bright. Then I realize what it will demand of me and I quickly tune out of my own station and frantically seek out other stations looking for… for… what is it I’m looking for? Validation for following my truth? Validation for not following it? Ideas about how to be bold enough to do what I need to do? Ideas for some clever way OUT of doing what I know I need to do…?
I’ve been seeking out feedback because I have a lot to learn in a new field of discipline. And boy, am I getting feedback! It’s useful, but also very noisy. I’m struggling to hear my own Radio Truth through all the competing voices. Well that’s what I’ve been telling myself. In reality it’s more like I hear it and I think, “I can’t do THAT!” and so go right back to the noise instead. And without my inner voice of truth I feel overwhelmed and lost and confused – and therefore panicky.
Yesterday my mother reminded me to tune into my truth station. What she said was, “Nobody ever achieved greatness by following other people”. And I hereby honour her moment of parenting greatness.
Our role in life is to learn to listen to our truth, by tuning in and staying tuned in to our own Radio Truth; And then we need to do what our truth demands of us. Whether or not that aligns with what the other broadcasters are shouting at us.
We become full expressions of who we are in this world when we do that. We live our own unique life. And that is bound to be beautiful. Yes it is – even if you’re worried that what’s inside you isn’t beautiful – but that’s another topic for another post. A genuine life that is guided by a person’s inner truth has much more sparkle to it than a life that is a patchwork quilt of other people’s expectations and opinions.
As a parent your greatness comes from helping your child listen to his or her own truth. Just like everyone else on this planet, children know exactly who they are and what they need to do. They just need permission, support and occasional guidance to do it. Just like you and me. Usually, to know how to best guide your child in this, you need to tune in to yourself. Which is great because your child is your best guide to how to best guide your child. Also another post, another time.
A Trio of questions for you
What do you often say you wish you could do?
When did you last tune into your Radio Truth?
And the times you avoid it, why do you do that?
(Originally posted on Jun 14, 2013)
