It Seems I Hit A Nerve

By Eilat Aviram

I received such beautiful, heartfelt and inspiring responses to my post I’m Done With Feeling Not Good Enough . It seems to have stirred something up. It’s one thing to know you’re not alone in feeling something and another to see you’re not alone. I’m SO glad I found the courage to write it.

One woman told me, “After I read your post on feeling not good enough I suddenly realized that it might be fears of not being good enough that have been driving the anxiety I’ve lived with all my life”

Image courtesy of Foto76
Image courtesy of Foto76

A poetess wrote me this; “Did you hear thunder? No? I thought you may have had something to do with it, having started this open conversation about the god Goodenough. I dreamt that I arrived at school to fetch my child and was faced with a crowd of children and adults asking me if I could take all forty-two of them home with me. Surely they won’t all fit into my house, never mind that my car would only take four… I saw on the faces of the other Super Moms standing by, their silent internal clucks of disapproval and irritation that I could not do this ‘little thing’. “Well can you manage the two teenagers?” they asked and I offered myself fourfold. Then I was woken by my child with a sore throat saying she is “losing my voice”. Now can you see the lightening? The morning proceeded with an argument with my teenager who told me I don’t listen to her or respect her opinion. More thunder. I rushed off to a memorial where there were admonishments about being ‘good’ Christians in life. A storm is predicted this weekend. I think the thunder gets its voice from old Goodenough. I’m going to have a good chat with them now that I’ve learned I can roar. That’s what that post of yours felt like actually, a roar. What beautiful cloths the readers weave from its yarn.”

As for me, since I wrote it, each time that nasty bully Not Good Enough tries to sneak in. I tell it, “Ha! I don’t believe in you anymore. So there!” And d’you know what? It goes away each time. It works, it really works!

I found the courage to write my truth after seeing others do it. That’s how we help each other in the world I think, just like we do for our children – by modelling behaviors. Being brave enough to do what everyone wishes they could do. I haven’t been sure how much humanness I’m ‘allowed’ to expose because of my role as a psychologist – then I witnessed some community leaders write rawly and honestly and it gave me permission to be honest and just human too – even as a psychologist (although the urge to glance over my shoulder for the ethics police hasn’t completely gone away…). That’s what we do for our children in the world. Show them how it’s possible to be a full expression of ourselves – and that’s only possible when we are conscious and active in our own life journey. And how can we do that if we are walking around feeling ‘not good enough’.

C’mon everyone, join in. Let’s take back the power from this bully Not-Good-Enough. It’s really just a ‘scaredy cat’.



Image courtesy of Emptyglass
Image courtesy of Emptyglass


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Eilat Aviram is a Daring-Decisions Teacher.

She's worked with people for 25 years as a clinical psychologist, hypnotherapist, best-selling author, speaker and energy-healing teacher and she is passionate about helping people dare to love themselves in their moments of decision and find the courage to live their truth.

Eilat Aviram