From Aug 5, 2013
I know you’re busy. I do. I know you’ve got a hundred things on the boil, so to speak, and I think you’re amazing for doing all of it like you do.
But tell me something, with all of what you’ve got going on, when did you last take a few moments to simply breathe and relax?
“Yes, I know I should breathe and relax. I wish I could. But who has the time?”
Time? What’s time?
Let’s do it now. Come on, I’ll help you. It only takes between five and eight minutes. I know, I’ve timed it.
Ok?
Let’s do this thing. Seriously, I mean it. Let’s do it right now. Yes? Are you on board?
Right so if you have something literally boiling go turn it down or off. If the phone rings in the next few minutes let it ring. You can call them back. Anything you were about to do can wait another five or ten minutes. That’s not long. Anything else? You can just leave it for a few minutes, you really can – or if it’s super quick and it’ll bug you, then quickly go do it now and come straight back. But no excuses. Are you willing to dedicate around 6 minutes of your life to yourself? I hope so.
What?
Yes you can go pee first.
Ok ready? Don’t just read this, actually do it. This is a moment just for you. Take it.
Sit comfortably, straighten your spine but keep your back relaxed, uncross your legs, place your feet on the ground (or sit on the ground).
Bring your attention to your breath. Just observe your breath for a moment without trying to change it in anyway. Notice that your body is drawing air in and pushing air out and you don’t have to do anything to make it happen. Don’t rush yourself. There is time for this. Just notice your breath coming in and going out for five breaths or so. Then carry on reading.
Now place your hand on your belly, somewhere on or around your belly button. Take a slow, easy, deep breath in through your nose (or mouth if that’s difficult). When you are full of air pause for a moment and then slowly and easily breathe all the air out. Do this again at your own pace, in and out. Try to breathe into your belly rather than your chest. So instead of your chest rising and falling, your hand on your belly will gently lift as you breathe in and fall as you breathe out. You can watch it. Belly breathing signals to your body that all is well. In your own time now, take three or four deep, slow breaths in, pause and breathe out.
Now turn your attention to your body and become aware of any areas which are tight or painful or uncomfortable. Turn your attention to each one of these areas in turn and talk to it directly (aloud or in your head) as though you were reassuring a small child. Say this to each part of your body that is calling for attention, “It’s ok. Everything is alright. You can let go now. There is nothing you need to do right now. You can just be.” And allow that part to relax. (If this sort of thing is new to you and you feel a bit silly, try it anyway now and see how your body responds.) Say it as many times as you need to, to as many parts as need it. When every tense or sore part of your body has been reassured, carry on reading.
Now in your own time take another three S L O O O O O W, easy deep breaths in, pause and out. Each time breathe out all the air you breathed in.
And bring your awareness back to the present. Become aware again of yourself sitting here, in your body, in this room.
Using your name, thank yourself for this moment of care.
How do you feel now?
I’m so glad for us both that you joined me. Off you go, back to your day again. I hope you have a good one.
Good morning.
Its just so wonderful when one asks for help and our cosmic intelligence responds by sending guidance and assistance through trustworthy sources. Thank you so very much for this morning’s reminder of taking time to allow ourselves to be present and letting the light in. {0}
Thanks for saying this. I write it because I need it myself. This morning when I checked the post I did the exercise and it left me calmer – which I needed. It’s such a gift to do things for yourself and find that others benefit too. That doing what is true for me turns me into a channel for light-filled reminders for others. I suppose that’s the core of my perspective of parenting – and life on earth as I see it! Stay true to your core and thereby achieve world peace. I hope your day remains light-filled. I’m going to try to do this exercise all week. I’m sure my family will thank me for it 🙂
That was… well, unusual – meaning that I don’t usually give myself even these few minutes. I mean consciously. So when I did, all the emotions (which are usually pushed aside / down in the course of my usual work-parenting day) came bubbling up. So I’ve given myself 6 minutes to breath. Ok. But I’ll need much longer to deal with the emotions! So back down they go. You see? That’s why I try not to breath consciously too much! I know, I know I need to deal with my emotions, and it’s unhealthy to bottle them up and all, but I figure I’ll get around to that when the kids are older and I retire. Howzat for a plan?
Your plan made me laugh and your predicament filled my heart with warmth and compassion – and some concern for you. Holding all that in made me wonder, do you think you’ll still be breathing by the time you get to retire?
I thank you for your honesty. You are SO not alone in feeling like you do. I know just how that is when you’ve been keeping the feelings in – for survival sake – and then you have one quiet reflective moment and BAM out they try to pour.
The thing is, our feelings are messages from the deepest parts of ourselves and if we keep stuffing them down we are not listening to who we are and what we need. That’s how we lose our self, our balance, our health… and then as if that’s not enough there’s the huge volcanic overreactions to things and our children and partners get the flack… Do you know what I’m talking about?
Maybe you can take it in little bits? Like 6 minutes to breathe each day, or every second day… a little snippet of acknowledging your feelings here and there – just as a sign to yourself that you are willing to listen a LITTLE bit at least? Maybe all those emotions are actually trying to come up to guide you OUT of your current space? SO what do you say to you, any chance of a new plan? Or at least early retirement 🙂