Can You Love What Is Causing You Pain?

By Eilat Aviram

In a meditation the other day I received this thought, “You should be SO grateful for the parts of your body that have been causing you pain and discomfort.” This thought came with a deep sense of joyful appreciation – for the parts of my body I sometimes worry about, consider dragging off to the doctor to see if they can be ‘fixed’, fear that they indicate I have some serious degenerative disease…

LOVE for THOSE parts!



But once you have a feeling you can’t un-have it. I now know that my body is doing something important for me – even if I don’t know what – and something really good. Those parts of my body are taking me on a journey. They are my guides.

To what? To my Self of course. They are guiding me home to me.

But how do you start to love something you really wish wasn’t there? How do you love what scares you?

Big questions.

There is more and more research showing that what we think and feel creates our world. How we experience the world is a reflection of our thoughts and beliefs. So things that show up in our bodies and in our lives then, are indicating our patterns of thinking and feeling. Depending on what is showing up for us, we can see if what we are doing is working for us or not.

When your body tells you something is not ok, it is merely lovingly reflecting to you that something about what you are regularly doing is detrimental to you.

Sometimes it’s a simple matter of sitting down in a quiet space, opening your heart as best you can, and then talking to the part of your body that is in discomfort. Chat to it. Say hi. Ask it how it is. Ask it if it has something to tell you. Ask it if there is anything you could do that would improve the discomfort. Listen to the answers that arise within. Don’t judge them or question them. Just receive them and take them as your inner self communicating with you. Our bodies usually communicate with us when part of us is disconnected from Love and wants to reconnect. It needs your help to do so. You do so by listening and opening your heart to it as best you can.

You can do this same process with your child because our children are the same. When your child is acting out, doing things that drive you mad, stuff you cannot understand, assume they are also trying to communicate something to you. Something is out of balance for them and they need you to hear. They need your open, non-judgemental listening so that you can know how to bring them back to balance and healing. It is merely a reflection that they are disconnected from Love and want to reconnect.

Really and truly that is what their disgusting behaviour means.

The way to begin to know, accept – and even love – your enemy is to start getting to know them. When you stop judging or trying to control and instead seek to communicate and understand, you find that all anyone ever wants is love and peace, acceptance, respect and harmony.

This is also true for you and You.

Try to open non-judgemental lines of communication with the things that trouble you and see what happens.

Let me know how it goes?


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Eilat Aviram is a Daring-Decisions Teacher.

She's worked with people for 25 years as a clinical psychologist, hypnotherapist, best-selling author, speaker and energy-healing teacher and she is passionate about helping people dare to love themselves in their moments of decision and find the courage to live their truth.

Eilat Aviram