Eilat Aviram's new book

Are you tired of making sure everyone else is okay while who YOU are and what YOU want keeps being pushed aside for ‘later’?

You want to look after yourself but you don’t want people to think you are selfish - and you don’t know how to change this feeling that you are just existing, or surviving, rather than living your best life…

In this beautiful and powerful book, psychologist Eilat Aviram takes you by the hand and shows you, step-by-step, how to come home to yourself and love yourself more in your relationships, your boundaries, saying no, your thoughts and your self-acceptance.

If you often look after others instead of yourself, if you  try to meet all your responsibilities, say yes to things you don’t really want and feel like you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way… this book is for you.

There's a powerful little question that can change your life.

When you ask yourself this question, you always know exactly what step to take next to find yourself again and take care of yourself, without fear or apology—while actually improving your relationships and your life.

In this book you’ll learn how to:

  • Make decisions you feel proud of
  • Love and trust yourself more
  • Say no and set good boundaries without guilt
  • Have healthier relationships
  • Speak more kindly to yourself

Packed with true stories, skills and thought-provoking exercises, this easy-to-read, paradigm-shifting book feels like you’re having a fireside chat with a loving psychologist friend.

"In this book you will hear your heart’s thoughts and feel brave enough to act on them. It's a must-read"
Ruth Bester, Wife, mom, ouma, and friend.

Four ways to get your copy


I couldn’t stop reading... I wanted to know more and read further. Will definitely recommend it to my clients and colleagues. Retha van Stelten, Industrial psychologist and psychometrist.

It’s engrossing ... like a magician revealing to you the secret of his magic. An awesome read. Magen Moodley, Electrical engineer.

Wow, what a beautiful and powerful book! It will bring tears to your eyes. It will open your heart, and you will hear yourself more clearly. I wish I had found this book twenty years ago, nay, I wish it were part of every school curriculum. Michèle Baur, Change catalyst.


This book is a true gift. It speaks to the very core of why we often struggle to maintain the positive shifts in our lives. You cannot have a relationship with yourself or the world, nor begin to make shifts in your life, if you have not first given yourself permission to exist. Debbie Lopes, Psychologist and mom.

This method has given me an extraordinary sense of freedom and safety. I think it’s the most important book I’ve ever read. Susan Hayden, Author, columnist, and blogger.

Awesome read; pulls one in immediately. This is a powerful yet simple process for making decisions that bring you home to yourself. J, Clinical psychologist.


This book’s pages have left deep footprints in my heart and my being. For the first time in many years, I feel abundant in my existence and not merely surviving moments. Thank you for resuscitating me. I feel reunited with the truest part of my being that I had lost, or merely forgotten, in the hustle of living. Janine Kendall, Counselling psychologist.

I did not realize just how much this book would affect me (in a very good way). This is incredible work. I wish they would teach it in high school. Sisanda Voko-Mabope, Executive coach and mom.

Eilat Aviram is a clinical psychologist, hypnotherapist, author of best-seller, If You Loved Yourself, What Would You Do Now?, speaker and energy-healing teacher. She speaks on stages, and works with individuals, organisations and healthcare professionals around the world, passionately teaching her simple, yet powerful, ALLOW YOU method, to help people love themselves more in the choices they make.

Find out more at www.ifilovedmyself.com