What does self-love ACTUALLY look like?
We keep being told we should love ourselves… but what does that actually mean in practice?
For example, how is self-love relevant when you’re standing in your kitchen, or answering emails, or feeling exhausted, or having to deal with people? How do you love yourself during an ordinary day?
I created a Self-Love Checklist to help you love yourself more in your everyday life - one tiny choice at a time.
You can get it here for free because I want to empower more of us to get better at loving ourselves. Just fill in your name and email below. I hope you gift yourself!
You’ll also receive the weekly I Love Myself Letter. You can unsubscribe anytime.
What does self-love ACTUALLY look like?
We keep being told we should love ourselves… but what does that actually mean in practice?
For example, how is self-love relevant when you’re standing in your kitchen, or answering emails, or feeling exhausted, or having to deal with people? How do you love yourself during an ordinary day?
I created a Self-Love Checklist to help you love yourself more in your everyday life - one tiny choice at a time.
You can get it here for free because I want to empower more of us to get better at loving ourselves. Just fill in your name and email below. I hope you gift yourself!
You’ll also receive the weekly I Love Myself Letter. You can unsubscribe anytime.
You know that moment when…
Someone asks you for something and you immediately feel,
“No! I really don’t want to do that.”
But then your head starts:
“I can’t say no.”
“That would be rude.”
“What will they think of me?”
“They need me…”
So you say yes and inside you droop a little.
Those little moments may seem insignificant but they're actually the building blocks of your life.
In the centre of every choice you face is The Sacred Moment. In this powerful moment you either turn towards what you know is right for you, or you turn away from it.
In any choice from a small thing like whether to answer that email now, or what to eat, to big things like whether to leave your relationship, or say yes to that job offer...
When you choose the thing that is true for you, your needs are more likely to be met so you feel more satisfied, more hopeful and more at ease in your life and relationships. When you keep turning away from what you know is true for you, your needs go unmet – and over time that can show up as resentment, frustration, depression, exhaustion, anxiety or simply feeling dissatisfied or numb in your life.
But not here in the If I Loved Myself world!
Here we come alive again by learning how to listen to ourselves, discovering what is true for us, and daring to turn towards what feels better – one tiny choice at a time.
We do it by asking one simple, powerful question in any choice:
If I loved myself, what would I choose to do now?
Where would you like to start?
Here are four ways you can learn to love yourself right now.
Choose what feels right for you.
For Eilat's courses, meditations and other free resources...
Hi, I'm Eilat Aviram.
(It's pronounced, Ay-Lutt Ah-vee-rahm)
I’m a clinical psychologist, hypnotherapist, author and energy healing teacher. For 30 years I’ve been helping people learn how to dare to love themselves in the choices they make.
Over the years, I've learned that we each know deep within ourselves what feels right for us and yet we constantly override that knowing and choose to do stuff we don't really want. Then things go badly, or life feels hard and joyless, or scary... and we don't know why.
When you start using this little question and listening to your answers, it changes EVERYTHING in your life that you want to change.
THIS WORK HAS BEEN FEATURED IN
What people say about working with Eilat
Marchane Janke
Clinical Social Worker
"I mean, if you are in my life and I haven’t already got you to buy her book, are you really my friend!?
Working with Eilat in everything she puts out there is absolutely and amazingly worth it!
With her attention to detail, gentleness and holding space for each person she encounters, I had the ability to focus inwards and really get uncomfortable with my vulnerabilities and people-pleasing. Being a clinical social worker by profession, this course encouraged me to use the tools as I work, but also to pay it forward and share it with my clients.”
Matthew Khalil
Scriptwriting Teacher and Author
"Working with Eilat and using her Love question has changed the way I am in the world.
I am more in the present and making healthier choices.
From big choices about how I spend my time to small choices like moving a dirty teacup to the kitchen! The power of this process is that it cuts through all the over analysis and over thinking that can happen in a thereputic process and exposes the heart of my inner voice so that it can guide me through my day. In short I am so much happier, content and at ease with myself and the world. It came at just the right time in my life and felt like the cherry on the top of the cake that is the new, healthier, happier and more content me."
Tanya Van Niekerk
Psychotherapist
"I would highly recommend therapy, coaching or any other type of sessions or workshops offered by Eilat. It was one of the best investments I have made for myself.
These learnings have changed me in surprising and remarkable ways. While I sometimes forget to ask myself the question: “If I am kind to myself, what would I do now?”, I am increasingly spontaneously reacting as if I consciously thought about it.
I am kinder to myself, and I love myself for it.
Eilat has a fun sense of humour and a caring spirit. She provides a safe, attentive and compassionate environment to reflect, learn and grow. ”
Lorraine Berthoud
Emotional Logic Coach and Trainer.
"Eilat has a beautiful empathic and caring presence. Her disarmingly simple love question is a powerful way to make respectful decisions from the inside.
Her simplicity and accessibility allow for trust to build rapidly, which then allows for efficient challenges and strong/deep/real work.
I've done the 21-Days Journey, and I really enjoyed the way Eilat came both prepared and open to what would come up. There was a lot of very valuable content in it.
The 3-Session Laser Process I did with her was live and a great opportunity to focus on and address a specific issue. It gave me the final "kick" I needed to make a tough decision.
I've loved the live course with Eilat."
The I Love Myself Letter
What is the
I Love Myself Letter?
Four Ways You Can Learn to Love Yourself Right Now
Eilat's Self-Love Membership
Imagine waking up and knowing what you need – and then giving it to yourself!
Imagine saying “no” without guilt, or resting without shame.
And imagine doing all this and still having good relationships!
Imagine feeling good about your choices at work, at home, with your food, your money, your kids...
It's possible. It really is.
And you don't have to be alone as you learn how!
A short, powerful workshop to help you know EXACTLY how to love yourself in any moment or situation.
Eilat takes you step by step through understanding what self-love really is and which of your unique needs are driving your unwanted feelings and behaviours, so that you can choose differently in future.
These three hours could be the start of a new life and relationship with yourself.
You Have Permission to Exist
This book answers one of the greatest dilemmas we have in life, “How can I look after myself while I’m with others?”
In this book you’ll learn what it actually means to love yourself and how on earth to do it without damaging your relationships and losing what you love.
“I think this might be the most important book I’ve ever read.” Susan Haydn, writer and blogger
READ OR LISTEN TO THE BOOK
And you wish someone could just help you find the strength and the courage and give you the tools to be able to make the choice you really want?
Because you know that you're not loving yourself in your choices, and that it's causing your depression, anxiety, food issues, addiction, health problems…
Help is here! This technique is so simple, you'll already be practicing it after Chapter 1.
Available as audiobook, paperback and ebook
You are here to live as yourself.
That is your life's purpose.
Eilat Aviram - Psychologist and best-selling author
This method offers a single, easy-to-use process that is so effective it could solve all your problems.
That's because its a five-step process that takes mere seconds to connect you to your own heart’s Truth and wisdom. At the core of it is this question:
"IF I LOVED MYSELF, WHAT WOULD I CHOOSE TO DO NOW?"
It works so well because you're the one who knows everything about your life, your problems and your dreams, so when you ask your own Truth for guidance on what to do next, the answers come from an unsurpassed expert – you.
For over 10 years I've watched this process transform people’s lives for the better.
Are you ready to follow your Truth to the life of your dreams?
It's so much simpler to do than you may think.
Loving yourself is the LEAST selfish thing you can do!
Eilat Aviram - Psychologist and best-selling author
What People Are Saying About The Book
Susan Hayden
Writer
"I love this book more than I have words for. It is so important and so beautifully articulated, and I am SO thrilled someone in the world has said these things out loud so that other people in the world (like me) can heal themselves."
Nas Sydow
Founder of Forever Playful
Eilat’s “if I Loved Myself” is not just a book that you will read once and leave on your book shelf along with all your other self-help titles. It is a tool that you will come to use and refer to over and over.
It takes you on a transformation towards your truth and authenticity. As you make your way through the book, it will feel as if your own personal therapist or life coach is walking alongside you, anticipating each step of this new practice. The words flow from the page with a sincerity and understanding of the challenges we face as we start asking the question “if I loved myself, what would I choose to do now”. We’re guided through these challenges with incremental steps that build on each other whilst maintaining the singular focus of TRUTH. This process allows for confidence to be built gradually, rather than asking the reader to take a big fearful step into the scary unknown. Eilat transfers her years of knowledge and wisdom over to the reader in bite size chapters with links to meditations, summaries and exercises to cement this new learning. If you are ready to meet your most authentic self, this book will indeed be your ultimate guide.
Sarah
Self-Loving Decisions Darer
"I’m using this tool all day. Last night when I was tempted to have a second plate of food even though I was full, it was ‘If you loved yourself, what would you choose right now?’
And then it helped me from feeling terribly guilty about not attending a school meeting because I was utterly exhausted. What I would choose if I loved myself was to stay at home with my family and eat a plate of nourishing food and be still. So that’s what I did. I had to remind myself a few times before the discomfort went away but it really, really worked :-))
Adaya Rohloff
Physiotherapist and Healer
"Eilat, the way you write wreathes the reader in love. What I mean is this is not just a theoretical instruction about love, but actually an experience of the thing. And I love your personal sharing. We readers love to get personal with the writer”.
If You Always Put Other People's Needs Ahead Of Your Own...
You could be setting yourself up for depression, anxiety,
food issues, addiction, unhealthy boundaries, health problems...
because you're not loving yourself in your choices.
And that doesn't help anyone!
Find out how not to do this.
Will you dare to love yourself in your next decision?
Sign up for Eilat's weekly I Love Myself Letter to gain the courage and skills to make that daring decision.